Last night my ex-fiance' put up the following status of FB: hasn't ever felt more like a jack-ass. I read it and smiled. Can I tell you how badly I wanted to "like" his comment. Would that be bad of me?! I know a lot of people would feel the same as me. Hence the popularity of Jaron & the Long Road to Love's song.
Sure it's been a few years since he called off our engagment. (With a letter. Less than 3 months before our wedding day. Which was supposed to me my 25th birthday. Moved everything out of our apartment while I was at work.) Of course we all know that I found true love with the guy after him. I'm happily married. I've got an amazing son. He moved on to some girl who goes by "Penny" (did you think of Inspector Gadget as well?!?) even tho it's not her real name. I will say I'm honestly over him & have been for a very long time. I will also say I'm still very bitter about the way things went down. Don't get me wrong--we would have never lasted. Looking back at it I would have given us a year of marraige tops. I am grateful for the fact that he didn't let us get that far.
As I was thinking of all of this...it made me think about ex's in general. I'm only 27 but had 3 long term relationships BEFORE my marrige. By long term I mean 2 years or more. While 2 of the guys are on my FB & I have a general idea of where they are in their lives--I never speak to them directly. I talk to the 3rd one's sister here & there so I know he's married with a daughter...but I never speak to him either. I spent a total of 7 years with these guys. 7 years where one of them was my world. 7 years filled with dates, dinners, movies, mini-golf, weddings, funerals, birthdays, holidays, family events....ect, ect. There was intamacy, long deep soul freeing talks, the works! I spent so much time with them & felt so increadibly close to them. There was a time with each of them where I could have never imagined myself seperated from them. We were 2.
And here I am...not even speaking to them. I know it's the way of the world. I get that people stop getting along. I get that people can hurt each other to a point where they can't find forgiveness. I know why things end. And I'm grateful that things end. It just makes me feel sad. I won't say my time was wasted--I had fun, I grew up, I was in good company, it helped me realize the qualities I'd both need & hate in a partner. I just wish there was an honest way to stay friends with your ex. Shouldn't there be a certain type of respect after spending that much time with each other?! I've always offered my friendship but it's never been accepted.
Before I pressed the like button...I found some respect for my ex. I decided it wasnt in anybody best interest to be a jerk. Then I wrote him an email checking in. We'll see where it leads....but I'm not holding my breath!
What are your thoughts on ex's?? Are any of you still friends with one?!
I tend to stay away from my ex's. I know what you mean though. It's so crazy that at one point you can't imagine your life without that person and eventually, life moves on and you realize there is something far greater out there for you! I'm glad you found respect for him. :)
ReplyDeleteI only have one SERIOUS ex and we get together about once a year for lunch and to catch up. We are legitimately friends, because it's been 5 years since we broke up, there is no interest there, but we have a shared history. We spent 2 years together, and there are a lot of memories. My other less serious guy I dated, more friends with benefits than anything, I am still friends with. We had WAY too much history as great friends before we brought a physical piece into the relationship for us not to be friends. However....I can acknowledge i am weird :)
ReplyDeleteI think it's only natural to be curious what they're up to. I didn't have any serious boyfriends before Kenny, but the guys I did date meant a lot to me and I still look them up every once in awhile. We're not friends on FB, though, and if we ran into each other again it would be beyond awkward.
ReplyDeleteI have only had one serious boyfriend so I don't have much to compare. It has been over two years since my ex and I were together and for most of those two years we did not talk much at all (we weren't even Facebook friends). It was hard for me not talking 'cos I refer to him as "my friend who I dated for a while" more than just "my ex" since we were great friends for so long before we dated. I saw him through two deployments and we had been through so much that it was so hard to just not have him anywhere in my life (and to not be a part of his as he reached so many milestones in his career). I reached out to him when I found out he was deploying in the spring and since he lost his leg last month, we have been talking more. I even have plans to visit him in the hospital this month. However, I will ready admit that I think my situation is obviously a bit unconventional.
ReplyDeleteI actually don't have any ex's, lol. My husband was even my first kiss. I don't think that's always a good thing, but it worked for me :)
ReplyDeleteI'd like to think I would keep in touch with ex's? But I really have no idea... <3
I have two ex's. One I don't talk to, but I am friends with him on facebook0. I've talked to him via facebook messages once or twice in the last few years. It ended too badly for me to want to continue any real relationship with him & I think he feels the same. I don't know though, we haven't had any conversations of substance in years. The other "ex" (I never call him that!) is my husband's best friend. It was not a serious relationship in the least. We didn't date for long before he broke up with me, but we didn't talk for months after I started dating my now husband. He was livid with me for saying yes to his best friend, but not with his best friend for asking.
ReplyDeleteThank You all so much for sharing!! :) I think it's fantastic the differences in all of us!
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